Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Two Schmucks For the Price of One!

Thank you, Florida! I'm looking forward eagerly to the bye-ku's on BOTWT for the two worst real candidates in the presidential race.

Dropping out on the left, John Edwards, a handsomely coiffed and handsomely remunerated trial lawyer decided to lead a populist revolt against corporations. His policies would have had the best chance of creating a massive recession: trade restrictions, environmental restrictions, financial market restrictions, and zero restrictions on punitive verdicts. Even Democrats rejected Edwards because he promised to govern on behalf of a segment of the population, not to be president of all Americans.

Dropping out on the right-center, Rudolph Giuliani, a hard-nosed scrapper who traded his way up by being a tough lawman. He was a poor judge of people - wives and police chiefs - and would have brought an ego and attitude the size of the Empire State building to Washington. The only way he could sell himself to the electorate, he found, was to be ever tougher. He promised to be tough on illegal immigrants and tough on Al Qaeda. But it's more probable that if elected he would have been tough on Congress, tough on America's allies, and tough to vote out of office.

We're a long way from having a president, but we're a little closer to having a good one.

4 comments:

Carol L. Douglas said...

The American people aren't quite as dumb as their betters think.

What is in store for the junior senator 'from' New York?

ali baba said...

The next candidate who needs to drop out is Huckabee. All he's doing now is siphoning off 10% of Romney's vote. And since, Romney is much preferable to McCain, Huck needs to get with it ASAP.

Chops said...

I'm actually not so sure. Huckabee voters chose McCain as their second choice. These are the folks who are deeply uncomfortable with a Mormon president, and would prefer McCain (who's mildly protestant) to Romney (who's firmly Mormon).

Carol L. Douglas said...

BTW, schmuck entered English from its Yiddish meaning, which is "penis" or more specifically, "head of penis". Which is why I don't use it; in this context it's a terrible insult to human anatomy.

I have been predicting for several months that the two nominees will be John McCain and Barack Obama (this is disregarding my own personal preferences, which are not yet published). As we approach Super Tuesday this seems much more plausible, but certainly there's much wiggle room here.